[AMY, spoken]
Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish.
*Want* something! Want something!
[ROBERT]
Somebody hold me too close
Somebody hurt me too deep
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive, being alive
Somebody need me too much
Somebody know me too well
Somebody pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive
Make me alive,
make me alive
Make me confused, mock me with praise
Let me be used, vary my days
But alone is alone, not alive!
Somebody crowd me with love
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you
To help us survive
Being alive,
being alive,
being alive,
being alive sang by Adam Driver
in the movie a marriage story which is actually
a part from a musical called "the company"
which appeared in the 1970s
and the main character there
robert celebrates his 35th birthday
and he faces the prospect
of spending the rest of his life alone
now he's invited to blow out the candles
and I find this part very important
that's why I start with it
and make a wish as he
meditates on five relationships of his friends
i remembered this poem
it speaks to me
of course about my experience
in my relationship
it's about the love inrelationship
and the challenges
individuals have
being together
i very much
recognize my experience with my wife in in this poem
but more than that it speaks to me also
about other relationships i experience
for example the relationship with my my children
children who sometimes
they make me make me feel angry they
it feels like they put you through
hell
but what they actually do is
they make you
feel alive
feel something
now you know
why you are there what you have to do
why you care
and when when that's lost
then we re-experience this feeling
we have other times in life when nothing matters
we are alone and loneliness makes us feel nothing
want nothing
the last verse
is important somebody
crowd me with love
crowd me with love and and not only that
and force me to care
we need it
we so often feel like we just
can't give up
you know we give up our relationships
that's why i hear it also
as a poem for friendships
friendship where someone forces you to
not give up
to just say bye i don't want to talk with you anymore
but force you to care force you care
with the love they share with you
they crowd you with
because then
we experience the
the joining in together
on this journey
through loneliness and life
and the experience that we want to
be
to be there to share life
to survive life
now last thought is the introduction
the introduction
want something
and wanting something
comes with the experience of
of having a loving relationship
with your partner
with your family
or with friends
because otherwise
in our loneliness
we don't want anything anymore
we have the experience and the feeling
it's done
i'm finished
what do you want?
what do you actually want?
what's meaningful to you?
fill the void of loneliness with meaningless things you buy
with holidays you do
because
you don't actually want anything else than
being loved
not being alone
and not being alone the poem says is
being alive
and live
be alive and want something
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, don’t swim in the same slough. invent yourself and then reinvent yourself and stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you.
reinvigorate yourself and accept what is but only on the terms that you have invented and reinvented.
be self-taught.
and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.
~Charles Bukowski, from The Pleasures of the Damned
this poem from Charles Bukowski
speaks to me in a very encouraging way
and
it gives us right away two questions to
ask :
is that possible to reinvent ourselves?
and
i have two thoughts on this
number one:
think about your career
in our day and age in the 21st century
it’s certain that you will reinvent
yourself
career-wise
you have to do it
the times are past
where you learned something and then you
worked
until you retire just in that field
no
you have to reinvent yourself
or you have to start over and go a different path
take on a different role
however, you will need to do it
and the other idea is for you personally
about your personality
and that’s debatable.
I know some of you will say
I am who I am that’s not changing
but
on the other hand
we humans are storytelling machines
reinventing ourselves on a daily basis
retelling the story of who we are and
what matters to us
depending on the experiences and the situations we are in
we retell the story of who we are.
it would be so comfortable to just stay where I am
and
swim in the same slough that I know and
that’s not a refreshing cold nice
water
no
it’s the same slough
it’s like the
mediocre things I love to do
how easy would it be
change your tone and shape as often so
that they cannot categorize you because
that’s what people do
they
give us labels
without question
learning a new instrument
or taking on a new sport
or just training
is contributing to changing
our shape
who we are and what people thinkabout us that we are
Peter Demuth 