Can we have a normal conversation?
I promote genuine curiosity and interest in other people. I want to encourage conversation for the sake of interacting with someone else.
Why does almost everyone today, especially those who seem to be friendly, interested and motivated in conversation have a Hidden Agenda in the sleeve that’s pulled out once you are hooked in a seemingly genuine conversation?
There is nothing more frustrating and disappointing than having that AHA moment during a talk with someone: “Aha, that’s why you invited me to lunch?” Do you know those surprising moments? “Aha, and all this just for asking if I can…” It’s so disappointing! “And I thought this friendly person was just interested in having a discussion, how stupid from me.”
Disguising our real intention
Why can’t we have a genuine conversation? A conversation without the hidden Agenda. One without a secret product in the pocket and every so important marketing for the “Me” business.
It seems that the interaction with other people today has become a charade of friendliness disguising our real intention to sell something to a possible buyer. It feels to me like being on a real-time Market-platform, Amazon in real life, where everyone is trying to pitch you something.
No need to network all the time
Networking, the exchange of information and ideas among people with a shared profession is conquering all conversation. Its exactly that, having “an agenda” and finding a fancy justification for it. Why do all encounters have to have an outcome? an aim? Interaction with other people can be based on a common interest or based on a situation may it even just be sharing a waiting room at your GP. You don’t need to advance your Agenda there.
Why not merely having a conversation without a “positive outcome”? Just a talk between two people sharing their thoughts, ideas, feelings or having a discussion about a topic. Not a planned conversation with an expected topic or “agenda” to go through. Do you remember such a conversation? I am sure you do because many of those conversations are important.
Genuine curiosity and interest in other people
With this short article, I promote genuine curiosity and interest in other people. I want to encourage conversation for the sake of interacting with someone else. A real encounter, an in-depth discussion and intention to listen and understand the other person’s perspective.
I am tired of encounters with an Agenda, where I am just a potential client, a consumer or a step to something else for self-gain. Whatever your Agenda is, stop it! Not today. For once, be yourself, without being afraid to be wrong or right. Let us learn from each other and build on ideas. Who knows our conversation can be life-changing.
15th October World Values Day – Dialogue
Peter Demuth 